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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Touring Mumbai Again

For all those who thought Bhilad was something I did as a one off instance, let me tell you about the wonderful day I had touring all areas of Mumbai by almost all means of transport.

The day started with me taking my bike to Sea View Hospital, parking it in the basement, taking rounds quicker than I ever have and running off for the next stop. Hospital for the Stars was reached by traveling in a local train from Charni Road to Bandra. From Bandra, I took the cheap public transport option - auto rickshaw to reach the hospital. All good so far. Did 2 hysterectomies, at some pseudolunch at the hospital and left for the next leg of the journey. This was to be from Bandra to Thane and was done with the car. We had a case there which was a hysterectomy and that took its own time as the instruments and equipment were meant to be ours and that takes time to set up.

We finally left for our next stop around 5 in the evening. This leg was to take us to Bhiwandi from Thane. Thanks to fate which makes it a point to jab you in the butt ever so often, we ran into a huge traffic jam on the highway which delayed us even further. We reached only after 7, 2 hours for what is usually a 40 minute journey. We got some food at Bhiwandi as it was 'Party's' house and hospital we went to.
From his nursing home I quickly took a 15 mins detour and went to visit my old friend and room mate from college Dr. Bhatinda!

We finally left Bhiwandi around 9 pm. Schumacher's reincarnation drove like he is used to and we managed to reach saat rasta around 10.45 which is a really good feat. This was to mark my last bit of traveling for the day, for we had decided to go for a happy budday party at phoenix mills on this very night.

My night finally ended around 2 am with the final drive of the night being in 'Rachel', taking us faithfully from phoenix to home. Oh and yes I had to get up and go to work at 8 am the next day!!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


We were supposed to have a really straight forward Lap. Cholecystectomy this afternoon. It was a case of BawiDoc who generally never comes in but expect our boss to come in and do the work inspite of us being there.Bawi doc unfortunately works only with Snitz n. Informal,(snitz) a person who is really irritating.

This case turned out to be slightly more difficult than normal, but not something we would not be able to handle without boss. The Snitz, however, starts getting ants in her pants after about 45 mins, saying why is it taking so long, maybe we should call sir, should I call bawidoc etc etc to which all replies were no.

The Snitz then slyly goes outside the ot and comes back in about 5 mins. A couple of minutes later bawidoc's face is at the glass in the door looking in wondering whats going on. We reassure her that it is a difficult case and it will take some time but we do not need to call sir. She goes off and we continue our task of getting that Gall Bladder out! Mrs. Motivator is now beginning to lose patience, which is quite a rare thing.

The Snitz over the next half hour goes on and on about how we should use a wash so we can see better, maybe we should use only and iv set instead of a TURP set for the wash, we should clip the artery beforehand so we can then see the duct, we should call sir (again). Mrs. Motivator is almost ready to jab a scalpel into the snitz. She even had the audacity to go out again, (assumption here, but really the only possibility), tell bawidoc to call sir on her phone, gets the phone in and puts sir on the loudspeaker. We calmly (barely) proceed to tell sir that we're almost done and he does not need to worry about anything. Mrs. Motivator is almost ready to jab a scalpel into the snitz.

We finish the case with the feeling of having gone through an examination of our skills. Mrs. Motivator who is usually very very very very (you get the drift) cool and composed is about ready to buy a voodoo doll and stick some pins in some unmentionable places. She even went on to say that the only decent nickname for the snitz would be one of the B words!!!!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Swain Flue

A couple of days ago, I was to travel to the state border to a small town called Bhilad, which is next to Valsad (both of which birdy refuses to believe, exist) to perform surgery there.

When you travel to places you've never heard of before, you know things aren't going to go smooth during the day. The start was horrid with the hospital being unable to find our instruments which we needed to take there. Boss' driver, Wireface. had sweetly forgotten to have them picked up the night before. Well, the one box that we found was lugged by be by local train to a predestined spot where we were to meet and commence our drive to Bhilad.

The drive was a fairly nice one, sure some traffic with trucks driving in the fast lane, but green like you wouldn't believe possible, almost forest like and smooth highways.

When we almost reached the Gujrat border, we came across a check point at which was boldly printed, 'Swain Flue Check Point' in bright red. Not only did they spell really badly, they almost stopped no one crossing it. We had a good laugh at the sign and reached the hospital soon after, where we proceeded to tell the locals about it.

As the day was supposed to go, it turned out that the docs posted at that check point were from the very same hospital where we were to operate.
Anyway, the surgery went off well and they insisted we have lunch with them and see the new farm house that the doc was building for himself. The way to the farm house was like going through a jungle where we saw this huge one foot lizard. As the day was supposed to go, the lizard died under one of the car tires!!

Lunch was amazing with desi Murg (village chicken), Paplet (pomfret) and Mutton Kebabs....Yuummmm The house was really great with the hall ceiling being at 2 floors height, which really is just a huge thing to have so close to the city.

All in all a great experience and came back without Swain Flue to boot!

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

The Beard Mask

I've been looking for a topic to blog about for the past few weeks and I just couldn't get something interesting enough to write about. I asked on the web, questioned friends I bumped into at the market, looked for inspiration at the office, watched for signs in the OT but nothing came to me.

Until one day, when I was changing in the operating room and went to grab my cap and mask. I saw a rather unique looking invention. I'm sure this must be an Asian find / discovery / invention / contraption or something. It was a mask with a veil, grand and green, extending from ear to ear, with strings attached, and quite wierd.

At first I didn't understand it and let it go. When I went in to the OT for the case, another doc walked in after sometime as a spectator. Now, usually we are too busy looking at the screen to look at someone who has walked in, but as luck would have it, I turned. Inspiration struck with the force of lightening (bijli even), and I realised that I would eventually write about it.

There he stood, looking quite innocent, with his face covered in a cap and mask, only it was the Beard Mask! It completely hid his face leaving only his eyes uncovered. What a wonderful invention. In the world where people are looking to sue for every possible mishap and incident, here is something that would finally allow doctor's sporting beards to operate without actually having to tie it up in a rubber band (painful) or worry about whether it is long enough to reach the table before they do!

It truly was an eye opener. I will post a pic of the same for people who have never seen it (maybe alongside a regular mask even).

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