Silicon Implants....Just not where you want them!

"Plastic Surgery is a Post Modern Veil" - Nawal El Saadawi

How true this statement is in today's times. It seems there is a procedure for everything. Right from that harmless facelift to the botox injections to surgery for dramatic weight loss and body contouring to silicon implants.

Not to sound sexist, but for a while now, these were the domain of the ladies.

Not anymore! There are post modern males stepping in who claim to be the new generation of cool while trying to hide their procedures and scars.

Our patient is one of these. One look at him and you instantly know he is a gym addict who has perhaps dedicated half his adult life to his goal of a perfect body.

He was clearly a bit off though. He admitted to have taken steroids while on his workouts. He also admitted to being a little crazy. What he admitted last was one that even surprised us.

He had silicon implants on his arms. Biceps and Triceps. Apparently this was to win some competition. He had them for about a year. Unfortunately for him, one of these migrated down to his forearm. Another one got infected. He also developed keloids (ugly scars over the surgery site).

He came to us to have the implants removed. This was the first time I have seen implants into the arms, in addition to, in a male.

Needless to say, we removed about 7 implants from both his arms, gave him a fairly decent scar after removing his keloids and offered him some counselling.



The icing on the cake was that this man, self admittedly crazy, took a discharge the same evening, decided he was a tough guy and didn't need anything, skipped his meds and went out for coffee the same night.




He returned the following morning for his follow up, wincing in pain, almost had a syncopial attack (fainting spell) while dressing because of the soreness, and promised to take his medications thereon.






This was his post operative scar!

Do you know of anyone with silicon implants in weird places?

Push Button Erections!

In a world where everything is becoming remote controlled and everything is available at the push of a button, this just could not have been too far behind right?

2011 - The era of push button erections is here. What a boon for patients suffering from impaired erections / impotence.

The system consists of an implant which has 3 components. One part is inserted into the penile shaft and is the cannula. 2nd is the reservoir which contains saline used to inflate the cannula and cause the erection. 3rd is the button literally, the control switch if you will, which directs the saline from the reservoir into the cannula. The older version (yes, its been around for a while now) was a manual pump, but now with hydraulics, the entire system is automatic. Once its use is over, press the button again and return to tumescence (it just should not sound like return to innocence! just wrong, I say)

Now, all those pervs who have happened to stumble upon this blog because of the keywords used, this is not meant for normal people who can achieve an erection anyway. Also, it is a surgical procedure to get it 'installed' so beware. Remember this fair warning.

                           

Future possibilities (entirely my ideas, and I will sue if someone copies this)

1.) Inflatable breast implants. Just imagine. Limitless possibilities.

2.) Inflatable biceps / triceps - for the macho wannabies

3.) Inflatable fake pregnancies - to avoid those annoying arranged marriage proposals! Hah! I love this one

4.) Push button crying - to prove a relative died when you want a holiday and have no leave left.

5.) Implants for push button beer delivery. Never get caught with a bottle!

6.) Push Button lubrication - For those times when he wants it and you just don't! (Sorry girls but it will be invented)

Can you think of some on the same lines??