Envy, Anger, Jealousy and more!

Happy New Year 2023. Here's to bringing in the good, leaving behind the bad, dealing with the difficult, sorting out the issues and ironing out differences!

A lot of things have happened in the past year, most of them good, a few not so much. However, people who know me, know well enough that I don't do regret. Its been a satisfying year for me, personally and professionally. For that, I express my gratitude every day.

Someone asked me at work, what's in store for the next year, what is my resolution? I simply answered that I don't make them. At least for me, they just don't work. They were quite taking aback by the blunt response. I guess they expected more.

Expectations - The bane of our existence. As humans, we are fine tuned to expect something or the other from our peers, friends, relatives, pets etc. Its part of our existence. It is one of those things God put in us, to make sure we are unable to be eternally happy. I think this is a great thing. Imagine being happy all the time, how dull! So, we get a break from happiness and bliss and we have other emotions to deal with like anger, jealously, stress and envy.

Anger is the easiest to deal with because in my opinion it is the most short lived. We have far too much going on in life to keep anger as a constant companion. Some will struggle with this but most move on and somehow cope.

Jealously is a beautiful emotion because it is proof that love exists and you care enough about something or someone that you can evoke this emotion when threatened. If you have ever felt jealous about something or someone, hold on to that and remember that the more you feel it, probably, the more you love the person or thing invoking this response!

Stress is a whole other topic to write about so lets skip it for now. 

Envy on the other hand is a special one. Envy robs potential moments of joy. Envy can eat you alive. It’s characterized in the scientific literature as a strongly unpleasant state of inferiority, hostility, and resentment, which is why it sometimes triggers its cousin emotion schadenfreude — taking delight in another’s downfall. While brief moments of schadenfreude can be relatively harmless, envy tends to endure, sometimes to the point of obsession.

I tried to figure out this envy, many times over, but usually fall short. Perhaps science is correct. Inferiority would make sense but how do you explain highly trained and professional athletes at the top of their game being envious of their counterparts. Hostile people would also not singly explain this as they can be openly hostile without really being envious, just being evil. How about people resenting others? Well, I could be envious without really resenting a person but that doesn't seem right.

Why, then, does envy poke its ugly head about? Shockingly, it appears in our closest relationships. Friends and family! I wonder if the answer is not in the person being envious but rather in the person being envied?

Maybe, just maybe, the envied party is just so sorted out that we can't stand it. How can they be so settled, happy, content, open, honest, truthful, uncomplicated, loved, appreciated, motivated etc etc (you could put all the successful synonyms and adjectives here)

Maybe we just can't digest the fact that someone might be loved more than us or just appreciated more, be better company, be more trustworthy and just be someone that people like hanging out with. 

Perhaps, we want to be that person ourselves. It's the competitiveness that is embedded within us. We want to be the person that someone unloads on, that someone can share secrets with, that someone can call in the middle of the night when they really need help, that someone can trust with their family, that someone can call to chill or hang with without any judgement or ulterior motives, that someone can call their own and know it works both ways.

Perhaps, instead of being envious, we should try and be that person. Unfortunately, more often than not, we end up doing the complete opposite. We end up trying to put that person down, trying to destroy that persons relationship with others, trying to prove that the person is not worth the adulation that we think they are getting. We try and disprove all that the other person is not even trying to prove themselves! In doing this, we not only move farther away from reaching that place, but, we also lose our own honour and place in that world. We no longer would be considered close to being the person that would ever be envied. 

Be simple, be kind, be appreciative, be yourself whether that is loud and brash or quiet and shy, be honest and sincere and don't sugar coat your words! Its the easiest way to move from being envious to being envied. I pray for your success this coming year and hope 2023 works so well for you that you don't have time for regret, jealously, stress or envy. 

 

Take a deep breath!

 You know how, sometimes, you feel the whole world and its mother decides to bear down on your shoulders and you feel like there is this immense pressure put upon you squashing you down, squeezing the very essence of your being?

News flash, a lot of people feel like that a lot of the time. At the very least, most adults would have faced at least a day of intense stress in the past one month alone, and I'm being generous in this estimate. For most people, this is a daily event. For most people, they also deny it wholeheartedly.  Unfortunately, this stress can manifest in many ways. The least expected illnesses and diseases can be brought about by a simple process of pressuring the mind into thinking all is not well.

Just a few examples to get you onto speed about what I mean. Things like a simple recurring headache, nausea, acid reflux, cramping in the stomach and gut, feeling of weakness in the muscles, spasms of the muscles, backaches, low back pain, tingling numbness, feeling of currents shooting along the nerve, dry mouth, dry eyes, foggy mind, etc etc. The list is literally endless. The cumulative effect of all this over time leads to us losing our loved ones all too soon. Might be a little too direct and uncoated with sugar but sadly, true!

At this point, half of you reading this are already wondering about the last time you felt any of this and are silently nodding along or smiling with the realisation that I am right. The other half are already beginning to debunk this and getting ready to quit reading thinking this is just another one of the gyaan sessions that most life coaches, mediation experts, good health practitioners and sundry give. I would ask you to read on.

Whether you believe the above or not, there is a way to deal with it. You don't even have to believe your conditions are caused by stress to deal with them. Just try to do what I am putting forward and see if it works. If it does, I don't care what you call it, just continue doing it. Stay happy in the belief that you are one of those that doesn't take stress or don't get bothered by stress! Just do the things I'm suggesting anyway.

The next time you feel one of the above, here are a list of things you do (there is a caveat at the end so read till the bottom)

• Take a deep breath, hold it in, count to five and let it go as forcefully as you can. Do it only 5 times. 
• Wash your face with ice cold water (as cold as you can get), making sure it gets into your eyes and put a little at the back of your head just where the hairline ends!
• Step away from whatever you were doing just before you decided to do this (get away from the stimulus)
• Put on whatever music you like at a fairly large volume (preferably with headsets on). 2 songs only
• Watch a 3 min slip of any stand up comedian that you think is funny. If you are not into stand up, watch a 3-5 min cartoon clip (older the better)
• Get some chocolate, cheese, ice cream, sweet fruit or nutribar into you. A small piece only, we'll worry about the calories later.
• Find a family member you love and give them a big squeezy hug. Make sure they're not expecting it. Watch their face immediately after doing this
• Go to the window or get out into the fresh air. 120 seconds only. Come back in
• Sit yourself down and breathe again. Only 5 times. 
  
• You are done!

Before you know it, you are ready to tackle the problem that got you into that frown before all this was done. You will suddenly see a path or a solution. In case you don't, at least it won't be bothering you as much and you can then work it out.

The caveat -  to do all this and to make it work, I don't even want to you think about it. Yes, most people, including myself, would go into this starting with this crap isn't going to do it, its just not going to work. Humour me, though! Go through all the steps and only once you've done it all, come back to me and tell me that it didn't work. I'm waiting for your responses below!!

Textbook Published

 I am very happy to inform you that our long awaited textbook of day care medicine and surgery has been published and is currently in distribution pan India.

As of now, we aim to have this book in the libraries of all the medical colleges in India as a supportive text to help them understand and start their own day care surgery and medicine units. These copies will be sent to the colleges entirely free of cost.

What we need from you is support towards making this book a bestseller online. The book is live on Amazon and delivers within one day. Ebook for kindles to follow soon.

Do support us and order the book now! 

https://www.amazon.in/Textbook-Day-Care-Medicine-Surgery/dp/1636404219/ref=sr_1_1?qid=1644832508&refinements=p_27%3ADr.+Dheeraj+V.+Mulchandani&s=books&sr=1-1

Dr. Dheeraj Mulchandani

All you need to know about Vaccination in Children

Vaccination for children aged 15-18 years is underway and most of us might have already taken at least one dose of Covaxin (the only vaccine approved for this age group). The news coming out from the government is that they will soon extend this eligibility to the 12+ age group as well. It's only natural that all parents would want to gain maximum knowledge about the subject before taking the call to vaccinate their child. This is a simple write up that I hope would help you to reach a sensible decision.

1. The first question on everyone's mind is whether the vaccine is safe for their child.

The simple answer to this is, Yes! The extended answer is that all vaccines go through a rigirous safety analysis before it can be released for the general population. Covaxin has already proven safe even in adults and the company has submitted enough data for use in children aged 12+ that gives us no reason to believe that it is unsafe for our children.

2. If the disease in children produces only mild symptoms, do we really need to vaccinate the children?

I guess this narative is more from the current wave of a milder mutation of the virus than plain facts. Sure, most children seem to have rather mild symptoms, however, there are enough and more children who have had a rather serious infection with a long drawn hospital stay along with some complications to boot. This only goes to show that this virus is mostly dependent on the immune response the body is able to mount at the time of infection. Children that have co-morbidities in terms of juvenile diabetes, immunocompromised states, obestiy, kidney disease or chronic diseases are at a higher risk for complicated disease and should receive the vaccine for their protection.

Multisystem Inflammatory Disease Syndrome (MISC) is a rare but life threatening complication of Covid-19 that may still occur in unvaccinated children as was seen in the initial days of the disease and the vaccine clearly prevents such an outcome. 

Children are proven spreaders of the virus and this transmission can be cut down once they are vaccinated as the viral load and the live virus transmission chain will break. This is simple to understand because the virus is eliminated from the body at a quicker pace than would be in an unvaccinated individual. Since the children remain the only segment of population that are unvaccinated, it only makes sense that once they do receive the vaccine, the transmitability reduces and the pandemic would change into an endemic form and die out.

To reiterate, it is more important to vaccinate immunocompromised children rather than think about how the vaccine could cause something to go wrong because the child's immunity is low.

3. What precautions should be taken?

No vaccines should be taken if the child is ill, has a fever or any infection or is currently on any medication for a particular infection or allergy (short term). 

If you do decide to take the vaccine, please remember to continue Covid appropriate behaviour like masking, not touching your hand to your nose or mouth and covering up when you cough or sneeze. Remember, the vaccine does not guarantee that you won't get infected, it only guarantees that the infection would be mild or even symptom free. Hand hygiene and social distancing is paramount in preventing the infection.

4. Are there any side effects to the vaccine?

The side effects with Covaxin continue to be similar to those observed with other vaccinations as well. Some arm soreness, a mild fever that lasts 24-48 hours, some bodyache and fatigue may be experienced. The symptoms can be easily controlled with paracetamol. Allergic reactions are quite rare and can be easily managed by your Doctor.

5. What the story on the expiry dates of vaccines?

There was a large discussion on the expired vials of Covaxin and their extension granted by the Government. The initial stringent approvals of a 6 month shelf life was given at the emergency use level but this can be extended after real time data is shared about the stability and shelf life of the vaccine. This extension was initially given for 3 months and then extended upto a full year. Rest assured, none of the vaccines injected during that period would have lost their efficacy. The new batches of vaccines are already out and by the time you decide to vaccinate your child, you would have a new expiry date on the vials anyway.

6. Does it really make a difference?

Right at the end, if there is still a doubt in your mind, look at the bigger picture. You are not vaccinating your child only for the child but for everyone the child comes into contact with, this could be the elders in the  family, people not allowed to vaccinate, people who can't receive the vaccination due to their physical state or just those that were too scared to take it.

If we ever want this pandemic to end, we all need to play a collective part in establishing herd immunity so that the virus is forced to mutate to a weaker strain that will then fade away or remain as the common cold / flu virus is currently in existence. 

For those looking at vaccinations, feel free to contact me for your requirements or even if you need to discuss this further or have any questions that you need answered.