Push Button Erections!

In a world where everything is becoming remote controlled and everything is available at the push of a button, this just could not have been too far behind right?

2011 - The era of push button erections is here. What a boon for patients suffering from impaired erections / impotence.

The system consists of an implant which has 3 components. One part is inserted into the penile shaft and is the cannula. 2nd is the reservoir which contains saline used to inflate the cannula and cause the erection. 3rd is the button literally, the control switch if you will, which directs the saline from the reservoir into the cannula. The older version (yes, its been around for a while now) was a manual pump, but now with hydraulics, the entire system is automatic. Once its use is over, press the button again and return to tumescence (it just should not sound like return to innocence! just wrong, I say)

Now, all those pervs who have happened to stumble upon this blog because of the keywords used, this is not meant for normal people who can achieve an erection anyway. Also, it is a surgical procedure to get it 'installed' so beware. Remember this fair warning.

                           

Future possibilities (entirely my ideas, and I will sue if someone copies this)

1.) Inflatable breast implants. Just imagine. Limitless possibilities.

2.) Inflatable biceps / triceps - for the macho wannabies

3.) Inflatable fake pregnancies - to avoid those annoying arranged marriage proposals! Hah! I love this one

4.) Push button crying - to prove a relative died when you want a holiday and have no leave left.

5.) Implants for push button beer delivery. Never get caught with a bottle!

6.) Push Button lubrication - For those times when he wants it and you just don't! (Sorry girls but it will be invented)

Can you think of some on the same lines??

Penile Penalty...

Anyone who considers laughing at other people’s miseries distasteful may stop reading this right now…All the other’s who can afford to laugh along continue!



This happened in the morning when we were relatively free (Yes, sometimes we are free in the morning). A call came from the casualty for the on call unit (not us) for a patient in severe pain and the call book read exactly this, “C/o Rope tied around penis”. My first instinct was I’m not on call, go find the doctor who is.


As all good things are realised a little too late, my batti also jaloed after 5 mins and as expected my evil side took over and I just had to see what the hell a guy was doing with a rope around his penis? I headed over to the casualty, considering the various possibilities all the way there! Maybe this was a novel way of committing suicide…Just imagine trying to kill yourself by hanging from your penis. It’ll kill you all right!

Anyway, I reached there and started looking for a guy with a rope tied around him, but I was hugely disappointed because there wasn’t a rope in sight. All was not lost though, because I found the guy, only it wasn’t a rope, it was a very strong piece of thick thread tied securely around the base of his penis!


Now, I was bored and this seemed a nice way to pass the morning till my bosses came for rounds so I went up to the guy and started asking him the most annoying questions. What happened? How did you do this? Why did you do this? For how long? Etc etc.


This guy surprised me by giving me the most absurd explanations for my questions. He said he tied it because mosquitoes were biting his penis (hehehehe) and the thread would keep them away. I asked him how that would be achieved, would he be using the rope to lasso the mosquitoes or use it to swipe at the mosquitoes with his penis. Agreed it was very rude of me to say so but come on, you don’t lie to your doctor, especially an intelligent one!


To top it off he says he had it on for 5 days! His penis was really swollen and the thread had begun to cut through his skin so I stopped being nasty and asked the other unit to come ad take over, but not before I took a pic of the great specimen.


I was thinking of putting it up with this but I thought it would be best to wait and see how many of you really want to see such a gruesome picture so post your comments and if demanded the pic shall be uploaded!

Till later.